Elizabeth didn’t like the sound of it, not one bit. “I don’t know, Jessica,” she said, shaking her head. “You barely know this guy.”

“And when has that ever stopped me? I go off with guys I barely know all the time,” Jessica said. “And everything has always worked out just fine.”

Elizabeth had to admit it was true. There was the one time Jessica had wandered off with Scott Daniels, a college boy with a porn star ‘stache, and he had attempted to date rape her in a boathouse. Because Jessica was such a cock tease, Scott left her stranded in the boathouse, and it took her all night long to find her way back. Elizabeth had had to pretend she was Jessica, and, boy, was she pissed – for all of about five seconds.

“Just be careful, Jessica,” Elizabeth warned as she pulled the red Fiat into a parking space at Sweet Valley High and turned off the ignition.

Jessica laughed. “I’ll be fine, Lizzie,” she said, opening the door and hopping out. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” Elizabeth said weakly. She watched her twin walk off toward the Romanesque clock at the front of the school. Elizabeth wasn’t quite sure how a Romanesque clock fit in with the architecture of a public high school in a retro California town, but it served as an instantly recognizable and convenient meeting spot for the students of Sweet Valley High. Jessica met up with Lila and her other best friend, Cara Walker, and the three of them walked side-by-side into the school.

Elizabeth sighed. Something was telling her Jayden wasn’t who he said he was. And it came down to her, as a mere staff writer for The Oracle, to get to the bottom of things!

Two

Jessica picked at her salad. She wasn’t even sure why she’d ordered a salad, anyway. It would just end up in the toilet about fifteen minutes after the lunch period ended. Besides, listening to Lila drone on and on about how she was going to become famous was getting old. Jessica hated when the attention shifted off her.

“So Jayden and his crew are driving all over California, looking for new talent,” Lila was saying. “And when they discovered Sweet Valley, they knew they had hit the jackpot!”

“That’s so exciting!” squealed Caroline Pearce, who used to be the school gossip, but changed following one of Elizabeth Wakefield’s famous interventions. “Lila’s going to be a star!”

“Ugh, stop screeching,” Jessica said, throwing down her fork. “You’re giving me a headache.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Cara asked. She used to be a gossip as well, another convert through Elizabeth’s twelve-step program.

“She’s just jealous,” Lila said haughtily.

“Jealous?” Jessica spat. “I’m not jealous.”

Lila smiled. “Well, you will be. It just so happens that I’ve got a date with Jayden tonight.”

Normally, this was the point at which Caroline and/or Cara would have made an exit in order to deliver the news to the rest of Sweet Valley High, but not this time. The students would have to find out on their own.

“How’s it going?” Elizabeth asked, setting her lunch tray down on the table and motioning for Jessica to scoot over so she and Enid could sit down.

“Just great,” Jessica muttered.

“So, is everyone excited for the dance on Friday?” Elizabeth said. “I hear it’s going to be a fundraiser of some sort.”

“Yes,” Cara said excitedly. “Pi Beta Alpha is raising money for makeovers for underprivileged teenage girls.”

Jessica shot Elizabeth a venomous look. “As a member of Pi Beta Alpha, you should already know all about this, Liz.”

Elizabeth had only joined the sorority because Jessica had practically begged her to. Determined not to let some silly high school sorority come between them, Elizabeth and Enid had pledged, although the two of them were Pi Beta Alpha members in name only.

“I’ve been so busy with my Eyes and Ears column lately,” Elizabeth said apologetically. “And I did spend some time in a coma, and then I was kidnapped by some creepy hospital orderly who caressed my hair a lot. So I’ve been a little tied up, okay?”

Everyone stared at Elizabeth. “Jesus Christ, that pun was bad, Elizabeth,” Enid said slowly. “Even for you.”

“On that note, I’m out of here,” Jessica said, picking up her tray and heading toward the trash can. She couldn’t believe the nerve of Lila Fowler! Planning a date with Jayden before Jessica could get to him! Lost in her angry reverie, she nearly knocked down Winston Egbert, the obligatory class clown, on her way out of the cafeteria.

“Hi, Jessica,” Winston stammered. In true delusional nerd fashion, he had had a massive crush on Jessica Wakefield for as long as he could remember.

But Jessica didn’t answer. First of all, speaking to Winston was pretty much beneath her, and secondly, if she didn’t puke in the next five minutes, she could just kiss her perfect size-six figure – and Jayden – goodbye!