“I can’t believe you pulled out the bird thing!” Bruce exclaimed, pacing back and forth in front of Ned Wakefield’s desk. “Does everyone really need to know about that?”

“Bruce, you have to understand what my strategy is here,” Ned argued, flipping open the file folder that held all of his notes on the case. “I barely understand it myself. But we’re trying to paint you as a harmless, non-date-rapey kind of guy.”

“All right, so a man who’s scared of birds is unlikely to be a date rapist,” Bruce said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “What else have you got?”

“Not much, I’m afraid,” Ned said. “We could bring up your intentions of opening up the Patman Date Rape Crisis Center. I know it was all Elizabeth’s idea and that you’re not too into it, but the idea is so crazy, it just might work.” Ned kicks ass