Full text of this year’s NaNo, “Prom Baby!” after the jump. If you are looking for the 2007 NaNo, “Double Penetration,” click here. NSFW – or any occasion, really

“Oh, that is it!” Elizabeth said angrily, tossing her newborn little boy over her shoulder and hoping Winston would catch him. She scrambled to her feet, walking with purpose toward Satan. “Mr. Satan, I’ll have you know I had absolutely nothing to do with this. I’m Saint Elizabeth fucking Wakefield!”
“You had nothing to do with this?” the devil asked, sweeping his hand to indicate the carnage in the Sweet Valley High parking lot. “Whose idea was it to slaughter hundreds of Big Mesa students by locking them in the gym and blowing it up?”
“Hey, I flashed Randy Mason twenty-two times just so the gym wouldn’t blow up,” Elizabeth countered. “That has to count for something, right?” OMG 666

Enid grabbed a girl by her hair and threw a hard knee to her throat. Glancing behind her, she could see that several Big Mesa students had breached the gym. Her first thought was for Elizabeth’s safety.
“I’ve got to get back into the gym,” Enid said, throwing an elbow to a large girl to her right. “Do you guys think you can manage this?”
Todd nodded and punched two guys at once as if to prove his point. Todd punch action in full effect

Enid lay in wait under a clump of bushes on the very edge of Big Mesa High School’s parking lot. She would wait until the cheerleaders and football, soccer and tennis players left practice and walked out to their cars, then pick them off one by one. She still had the broken root beer bottle and Elizabeth’s trusty barrette by her side. She’d also sharpened a ballpoint pen into a homemade shank.
She heard a high-pitched giggle and peered out from between the leaves. Two girls with tennis rackets were cutting across the parking lot, laughing and rubbing their ample stomachs. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around. A perfect opportunity to get rid of two at once! Enid thought. She closed a fist around the homemade shank and crept out of the bushes. Enid shanks a bitch, plus an unlikely trial

“I heard there’s some shit going down at Big Mesa tonight,” Steven said, pulling out the chair next to Elizabeth and flopping into it. “Boy, that long drive’s really got me beat.”
“There is some shit going down at Big Mesa tonight,” Mrs. Wakefield said excitedly. “And I think you should go. Make sure you take Elizabeth with you.”
“How do you know about the Big Mesa raid?” Elizabeth asked.
“Word travels fast when you sleep with high school girls,” said Steven, who was in a long-distance relationship with Cara Walker, who had been in the twins’ junior class at Sweet Valley High. She had since moved to London, but as Cara was a notorious gossip, she somehow managed to still know all the intricacies of life at Sweet Valley High and relay them to Steven. Shit’s about to get real. OK, not really

* * *

Elizabeth awoke with a start. Her sleep had been fitful; she’d tossed and turned the whole night. But the dream she’d had was so vivid, it seemed almost as if it had been real. Elizabeth had had prophetic dreams before. Last time, it was about a psychotic killer who looked just like the twins but with dark brown hair and had a penchant for knives. Elizabeth lay in bed and shuddered with fear, thinking about crazy Margo, who had tried to kill her and take over her identity. And then Margo had a twin, and SHE tried to kill us! Elizabeth thought. What are the fucking chances of that?

But this dream had been different, Elizabeth reminded herself. It was full of hope.

Elizabeth was in her room, putting the finishing touches on her teen pregnancy article, when an angel appeared to her. Oh, shit