Enid grabbed a girl by her hair and threw a hard knee to her throat. Glancing behind her, she could see that several Big Mesa students had breached the gym. Her first thought was for Elizabeth’s safety.
“I’ve got to get back into the gym,” Enid said, throwing an elbow to a large girl to her right. “Do you guys think you can manage this?”
Todd nodded and punched two guys at once as if to prove his point. Todd punch action in full effect

Suddenly, Jessica felt her head being yanked backward by some unseen force. The prom queen crown was ripped from her head with such force it made her yell.
“What the fuck?” Jessica cried, straightening up and placing both hands on the top of her head, which was sensitive from the blow.
“Todd!” Ken cried in surprise.
“You have a lot of nerve, Jessica Wakefield,” Todd said, waving the crown in Jessica’s face. “Wearing the crown that I made to the prom as if you had it in the bag?”
“I fucking do have it in the bag,” Jessica retorted, smoothing down her hair. “I’m a Wakefield twin, remember?” Todd delivers a raging bitchslap

“Oh,” Lila said condescendingly. “Well, when you see Jessica, tell her to come find me, OK? I can’t wait to show off little Rich!”
“Sure, Lila,” Elizabeth said. “I’ll be sure to tell her.”
Lila turned away, searching for someone else to brag to. She started in Amy’s direction, but Elizabeth caught her arm.
“Lila, wait,” she said. Lila turned a curious eye to her. “After the prom queen is crowned, get out of the gym, OK?”
“Why would I want to do that?” Lila asked. “That’s when the fun will just be getting started!”
“That’s when the fun will just be getting started for Big Mesa,” Elizabeth said darkly.
“What are you planning?” Lila asked, trying to control her voice so it wouldn’t give away the note of fear that sounded in her head like an alarm.
“Let’s just say we took a page from John Pfeifer’s book,” Elizabeth said ominously. Bombs, bombs, bombs

Enid lay in wait under a clump of bushes on the very edge of Big Mesa High School’s parking lot. She would wait until the cheerleaders and football, soccer and tennis players left practice and walked out to their cars, then pick them off one by one. She still had the broken root beer bottle and Elizabeth’s trusty barrette by her side. She’d also sharpened a ballpoint pen into a homemade shank.
She heard a high-pitched giggle and peered out from between the leaves. Two girls with tennis rackets were cutting across the parking lot, laughing and rubbing their ample stomachs. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around. A perfect opportunity to get rid of two at once! Enid thought. She closed a fist around the homemade shank and crept out of the bushes. Enid shanks a bitch, plus an unlikely trial

“All right, girls,” Mr. Jaworski said, sitting down behind Mr. Collins’ desk. “I guess the first thing we’ll do is take attendance.” It took almost half an hour for Mr. Jaworski to call out all the names of the girls in the class, noting that Elizabeth was missing. “OK. Now that we’ve done that, let’s all read our textbooks quietly to ourselves.”
“But we don’t even have textbooks,” Amy said. “Mr. Collins usually just talks to us about his own experiences with the female reproductive system.”
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” said Mr. Jaworski, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“Because you don’t want to get arrested, like Mr. Collins?” Caroline asked.
“No,” Mr. Jaworski said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “because I’ve never been with a woman.” Let’s be real, Mr. Collins is a pimp

“Oh, hi, Enid,” Elizabeth said, laughing nervously. “You’re home. I wasn’t expecting you to actually pick up. Oh, wow, this is awkward…”
“It doesn’t have to be awkward, Liz,” Enid said quickly. “I’ll do anything you want me to. Anything.”
“Then don’t fight with anyone from Big Mesa,” Elizabeth said desperately. “Please, Enid.”
“Why would I fight with anyone from Big Mesa?” Enid asked. “I’m not fighting with anyone. Except you. Unless you let me touch your boob.”
“OK, Enid, this is getting weird,” Elizabeth said. “I was just kidding about the boob thing. This isn’t slash, you know?” But it’s uncomfortably close

Jessica dropped to her knees in the sand, exhausted. She wasn’t badly hurt, but some of her classmates were. Roger was helping a badly bruised Winston to shore. Blood was flowing from Jean’s cheek, and her best friend, Sandra Bacon, was missing a front tooth. A rolled-up sock was hanging out one of the legs of Bruce’s Speedo, but he seemed otherwise OK.
“Did you hear that bitch?” Jessica fumed. “They’re going to crash our prom.”
“Let them fucking try,” Bruce said.
Todd was comforting Ken, who was clutching his ribs. “I panicked,” Todd said. “All those times I’ve punched people – I can’t believe I froze.” An unlikely assassin

“I know, I walked out of my house to go to school this morning, and I found Sally Larson lying dead in a ditch!”
“That’s awful,” Elizabeth said, tears springing to her eyes. “I totally forgot about her.”
“I’m pretty sure everyone else is in trouble, too,” Enid said. “When I got to school this morning, the only other student that showed up was Lois Waller. And this was posted on the door to Mr. Collins’ classroom.”
Elizabeth took the piece of paper that Enid handed to her. It read, “If you want to see Jessica Wakefield again, meet us at some shady warehouse downtown at 3 o’clock.”
Elizabeth checked her watch. “It’s almost 2!” she exclaimed. “We don’t have much time!”
“Do you think we should get the police involved?” Enid asked.
“Of course not,” Elizabeth said. “Everyone knows that the Sweet Valley Police Department is worthless. They rely on teenagers to solve all the crimes around here.” Date rape warehouse, here we come

“I heard there’s some shit going down at Big Mesa tonight,” Steven said, pulling out the chair next to Elizabeth and flopping into it. “Boy, that long drive’s really got me beat.”
“There is some shit going down at Big Mesa tonight,” Mrs. Wakefield said excitedly. “And I think you should go. Make sure you take Elizabeth with you.”
“How do you know about the Big Mesa raid?” Elizabeth asked.
“Word travels fast when you sleep with high school girls,” said Steven, who was in a long-distance relationship with Cara Walker, who had been in the twins’ junior class at Sweet Valley High. She had since moved to London, but as Cara was a notorious gossip, she somehow managed to still know all the intricacies of life at Sweet Valley High and relay them to Steven. Shit’s about to get real. OK, not really

Elizabeth’s jaw dropped.
“I know it’s a lot to ask,” Todd said quickly. “But you’re the only person at school who knows what’s really going on between me and Ken. And you’re a really special friend. It would mean so much to us if you would do it.”
“Todd, I’m really flattered, but I can’t,” Elizabeth said sincerely. “You know what, though? I’m sure Enid would be happy to help out.”
“Does that mean either Ken or I would have to stick our … in Enid?” Todd made a face. “Oh, no. God, no.” Enid is HAWT