“Oh, just hold them,” Jessica snapped, handing off her books to Lila, who accepted them with disdain. Jessica dug around in her purse for a barrette and finally located one at the bottom, dusty and covered in crumbs. “I hate these things,” she muttered, snapping it into place over her left ear and turning so Lila could get the full effect. “Now do I look like Liz?”
Lila frowned. “Try to look a little more condescending.” Jessica gave Lila the side-eye. “Much better,” Lila said. Lila needs to cut a bitch

“We still didn’t find out what boobs are for,” Jessica said thoughtfully, chewing on a french fry. “Hey, Liz, aren’t you going to eat that brownie?” She reached over and snagged the fudge-covered brownie off Elizabeth’s tray. “Aren’t you going to eat any of your lunch? Give it here. I’m starving.”
“Who cares what boobs are for?” Lila said. “This class is a major bore.”
“Have you forgotten about that skanky bitch from Big Mesa?” Jessica asked. “Do you want her and all the other a-holes from Big Mesa to think they’re better than us?” I bet Bruce Patman knows what boobs are for

Elizabeth guided the Jeep into another spot and Jessica flung open the door, jumping out before Elizabeth could even put the car in park. She ran off to catch up with Robin.

“Hey, Liz!”

As Elizabeth stepped out of the Jeep, she turned to see her best friend, Enid Rollins, running across the parking lot toward her. Enid was average-looking at best and had a meth problem she liked to keep on the down low, but her personality was just boring enough to make Elizabeth seem exciting by comparison. More twisted perfection

    “Have you heard the news about Ronnie and Enid?” Cara whispered, catching sight of Ronnie standing over by the fireplace. Gossip was gossip, as far as she was concerned. It didn’t much matter who the target was. (SVH #2, Secrets, p. 55)

Lila sniffed. “You mean that they broke up because she and some dumb boyfriend she used to have ran over some kid when they were high and didn’t even kill him?”

“You know what else I heard?” Jessica asked, dropping her voice to a whisper.

“What?” Cara asked, excited to grab any piece of information she could get on the situation.

“Enid used to sell her body to support her habit!” Jessica declared dramatically.

Lila recoiled in horror. “What?” she screeched. “Who would pay to get with that?”

Jessica shrugged. “I don’t know,” she answered. “Anyway, Lila, you, of all people, should understand.”

“Please,” Lila said, sticking her nose in the air. “You know I don’t just indiscriminately give hand jobs in dark alleys for smack. I’m strictly a high-class call girl.”

A loud series of bumps and moans starting coming from upstairs, causing the giant, cut-glass chandelier in the living room to sway. It glittered as it shook, scattering prismlike points of light across the room. Lila looked up at it nervously.

“Jesus, is that your sister?” Bruce asked, his eyes straying upward to the ceiling. His facial expression was a mixture of wonder, surprise and lust.

“You know Jessica!” Elizabeth exclaimed with a laugh. She shook her head. “She always has to be the center of attention.”

“Yeah, but does she have to do it all over my wing of the house?” Lila said, making a face. “I’m probably going to have to throw away a mattress or two. And if she breaks that chandelier, I’m going to murder her. Do you know how much that cost?” More twisted perfection inside

“So, what did you think?” Jayden asked Jessica after the film was finished and the lights were brought back up. He took her hand and looked deep into her eyes.

“It was absolutely fabulous,” Jessica squealed. “You’re such a brilliant filmmaker. And I’m so incredibly hot – how could you have gone wrong?”

“We do make a good team, Jessica Wakefield,” Jayden said, giving her a soft punch on the arm.

It was as if she’d been knocked back into reality from her reverie of being ridiculously rich and famous. Jessica looked around for her twin. “Where’s Elizabeth?” she asked, sounding a little worried.

“I don’t know,” Jayden replied. “I was too busy watching pieces of hot young ass get it on to really pay attention to where she and Bruce went.” More twisted perfection inside

“What have you got there, Lizzie?” Jessica asked, bounding into Elizabeth’s room. “A birthday present?”

“It’s from Bruce,” Elizabeth said, eyeing her sister suspiciously as she regarded the dress.

“I want it,” Jessica said, making a grab for the dress. Elizabeth quickly snatched it out of Jessica’s reach.

“Well, you can’t have it,” Elizabeth said. “You have your own boyfriend. He can buy you a dress for the party.”

“No fair!” Jessica cried, flopping down on Elizabeth’s bed. She extended a tanned leg to gently kick her sister.

“Stop it,” Elizabeth said, giggling. “Or else I’m going to have to break out the pillows for a pillow fight!”

“That’s so juvenile,” Jessica said with disgust. “We are grown women now. We have blossomed. And until ‘Skanks Gone Stupid’ puts out a Wakefield Twins Pillow Fight edition, we will do no such thing.” More twisted perfection inside

“I’m not insecure,” she mumbled into his chest. “A raging sociopath, maybe, but certainly not insecure.”

The music stopped, and everyone clapped. The Droids really are the most awesome band in Sweet Valley, Jessica thought to herself.

“Ugh, thank god they’re done,” Jayden said, refusing to clap.

Jessica pulled back and turned toward the stage. “Shh,” she said to Jayden. “I think they’re about to make an announcement.”

Dana Larson took a minute to catch her breath before taking the microphone again. “What’s happening, Sweet Valley?” she yelled into the microphone. A loud cheer erupted from the crowd. “Now, in just a few minutes, we’re going to announce the recipient of the Pi Beta Alpha makeover for the beautily-challenged. You still have time to vote on which one of Sweet Valley High’s female students most needs a makeover, so be sure to cast your ballot right here in front of the stage in the next few minutes.”

The crowd cheered again, and Dana laughed and gestured with her hands for them to settle down. “In the meantime, enjoy this song, written and performed by our guest artist and Guy Chesney’s girlfriend, Lynne Henry. She wrote it especially for tonight, and it’s called ‘I Was Once an Ugly Loser, but Then I Got a Makeover and a Boyfriend and Now I’m Totally Better Than You (Except for You, Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, Because You’re Totally Cooler Than Me Still)’.” The crowd clapped as Lynne took the stage. “Enjoy, everyone!” Dana called. “And don’t forget to vote!” More twisted perfection inside

Jayden placed a hand on Jessica’s leg. It sent a chill down her spine. They were on their way to the big Pi Beta Alpha dance, driving fast, the top down on his convertible sports car. It was kind of messing up her hair, but Jessica figured that tonight, it might be worth it.

He turned the car onto a side street, away from the high school. Jessica looked around, confused. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“Relax, Jessica,” Jayden said, a slight smile spreading across his lips. “Don’t you trust me?”

Jessica smiled back. “Of course I trust you,” she purred. “It’s just that I don’t want to be late to the dance. I am president of Pi Beta Alpha, after all.”

Jayden raised an eyebrow. “The dance, Pi Beta Alpha – isn’t that just kid stuff, Jess?” he asked.

“Well, yeah, of course,” Jessica said quickly. “But, I mean, it’s kind of my responsibility to make sure everything runs smoothly. And,” she added around a mouthful of hair that the wind had whipped into her face, “I’m dying to see what Lila’s wearing. I know I’m going to look so much better than her!”

“I don’t know, Jessica,” Jayden said thoughtfully. “You look pretty hot tonight, but Lila’s got a rockin’ bod.”

Jessica scowled. “Yeah, but she’s got brown hair,” she said. More twisted perfection inside

Jessica entered the room and began flipping through Elizabeth’s closet. “Boring, boring, fugly, too blue, too cream, boring, a dress with long sleeves and a turtleneck – a turtleneck? Really, Elizabeth? – too frilly, matronly, boring,” she said.

“But I like to dress like that,” Elizabeth said, hurt. “Besides, our dad runs his own successful law firm. We can’t afford new clothes every time we want them, Jess.”

“Well, we are poor,” Jessica said thoughtfully. “Hey, do you even know what kind of law dad practices? I’ve never been able to figure that one out.” More twisted perfection inside