Posts Tagged ‘Ridiculous experiments in fiction’


“Get back in the car,” Todd commanded them soberly as Rick released them to advance on this new menace. Rick’s fists were knotted at his sides, and there was a murderous look in his eye. (SVH #1, Double Love, p. 164)

“Todd!” Elizabeth screamed, frightened. “What are you going to do? You weigh even less than I do!” And I have an eating disorder, she thought grimly.

“I play basketball,” Todd said, his voice a low growl as he pushed up his shirt sleeves. “And that’s enough.”

Jessica and Elizabeth exchanged glances as they slid back into the Fiat, obeying Todd’s command. The Sweet Valley High basketball players were known for being complete badasses.

“He’s got a point,” Jessica reasoned, shrugging.

I hope he’ll be okay, Elizabeth prayed silently. Ever since she’d first caught sight of Todd after school with his shirt partially unbuttoned to reveal a pale, scrawny chest, she’d felt an inexplicable stirring in her loins whenever the thought of him crossed her mind. And although he’d broken her heart by being manipulated into attending this week’s dance with Jessica, she still wasn’t prepared to watch him get his ass kicked by Sweet Valley High’s most notorious dropout, Rick Andover, in the parking lot of Kelly’s roadhouse!

It was as if everything that happened next moved in slow motion. Jessica watched with mild disinterest and Elizabeth watched with sheer horror as Rick swung his fist, connecting it with Todd’s nose. Todd sailed backwards onto the hard gravel. Rick stood over Todd, swaying drunkenly.

“Wow,” Jessica said with sudden admiration. “Rick is so … strong.”

“Jess, he knocked down an 80-pound tranny,” Elizabeth said. “He’s not that strong.”


12 2007